Stop the HATE. It's up to YOU and ME!

I love America, and it breaks my heart to see the hate that is dividing our country right now.

Some of the hate is obvious on its face, such as the Nazi groups, the KKK, and the White Supremacists. These are the lowest of the low, and we all need to quickly and absolutely disavow them.

But hate comes at us on many levels. It comes in the form of discrimination.  It comes in the form of self-righteousness.  It comes in the form of moral superiority.  Hate comes from both the left and the right, from both the rich and the poor, from all races, from all levels of education.

Hate manifests itself in many subtle ways. When labels such as “Liberal”, “Snowflake”, “Racist”, “Sexist” are applied to people or ideas solely to differentiate and alienate them from the mainstream, that is a form of hatred, AND IT MUST STOP NOW!

The politicians are not the source of our hate; they are a symptom.  Hate starts with the People, and Hate must stop with the People.  THAT MEANS YOU AND ME.  WE HAVE TO STOP THE HATE, AND HERE’S HOW:

• STOP SPREADING HATE.  Stop sharing Facebook Memes that are mean and are designed to spread hate and divide us.  When you share such memes, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

• STOP SPREADING LIES.  Before you repeat something you have heard, or share something on Facebook, do a little research to verify it is accurate.  A simple SNOPES lookup is usually sufficient.  Many of these lies may be based on, or contain, half-truths, but they are still lies!  Remember, a lie of omission is still a lie!

• CALL OUT HATE when you see it.   There ARE evil people in this world.  Those who think they are superior to others.  Those who think other races are inferior.  Nazis.  The KKK.  White Supremacists.  Terrorists.  Those who promote violence of any kind.  It is NOT ENOUGH to stand idly by. We must SPEAK OUT and denounce them wherever they are.  We must SPEAK OUT and denounce those who support them.  As George W. Bush, you are either with them or with us.  You cannot be both!  

HATE IS BORNE OUT OF MISUNDERSTANDING

Of course, your view of the world is unique to you.  It is completely normal for your opinions and views to differ from others’. But we all have to live together, and we cannot do that by attacking every person who does not agree with our point of view.

We are all a little prejudiced in one way or another. That’s human nature. We are initially suspicious of anyone who differs from us.  But we must learn to control our prejudices. And this is not easy.  But it can be done, and it MUST be done.

• Always try to see an issue from the other person’s point of view.  There is a reason that they feel the way they do, and you might feel the same way if you were in their shoes.  Don’t dismiss their opinions and feelings simply because they do not echo your own.  You cannot fully understand any issue if you do not understand both sides.  Many times, once you take a look at the other person’s viewpoint, your own view may change slightly or completely!   I have changed my views many times once I fully thought through all sides of the issue.

• Weigh the importance of their position to them to the importance of your position to yourself.  In other words, do I feel as strongly about my position as they do about theirs?  

• Does your view fall in line with our basic premise of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”?  Our country was founded on these principles, and sometimes it is hard to realize that our view may be wrong; that our view is not in line with these core beliefs.

• How much will it cost you emotionally, financially, and morally to change your position?  Will your life change significantly?  Will you simply be uncomfortable?   Or will your life continue the same way regardless?

• Last, and certainly not least, just ask yourself this:  “What would Jesus do?”   

“United we stand; divided we fall.”   We all know that saying, but do we really give it any thought?

The United States has been the shining beacon of Hope and Freedom throughout the world. Our strength comes from our Unity. Indeed, our very name is based on that concept!  But it’s more than that. We are known as the “melting pot”.  We are made up of peoples from many different countries. We all have come to America and brought a little of our culture with us.  The term is apropos: If you drop a piece of butter into a pot of boiling water, the butter melts and becomes part of the boiling water. The butter is no longer distinguishable, but the water has been subtly improved.  So it is with our citizenry. So it is with America.   It is this diversity that gives us strength and acceptance.

So let’s stop letting a few individuals divide us.  We have to remain united and fight for our freedoms every single day.  And that starts with fighting hate.

Charlottesville and White Supremacists

Those who promote bigotry and racial hatred disgust me. They are NOT patriots. They are not moral. They are NOT Christians.

The issue in Charlottesville started over the planned removal of a Confederate statue. But Saturday’s demonstration was sponsored by a White Supremacist group. THAT became the focus of the rally. The rally was not about the statue. It was about publicity for the White Supremacists. The very presence of the Nazi flag showed that. If you participated on that side, you supported the White Supremacy cause, and you are NOT A “FINE PERSON”. You are as morally bankrupt as the rest of them. ALL of the people who supported that side disgust me.

Which brings me to my next point: If you WERE there only to protest the removal of the statue, why are you not standing up now and condemning the White Supremacists? Why did you not protest them on Saturday? It was THEIR rally; why were you even there?

I don’t care how good or noble your cause may be. If you need the support of hate groups to get your message across, your cause is lost. If you cannot disavow these hate groups while still promoting your cause, you are weak or morally corrupt yourself. When you fail to disavow a hate group that supports your cause, you sully your own cause, and associate it with the hate groups.

This goes for Donald Trump as well. As soon as David Duke tweeted his comment about them putting him into the White House, he should have IMMEDIATELY disputed that fact and disavowed them.

(I understand that many good and decent people consider those statues a symbol of their southern heritage, and others simply do not want to see history erased or white washed. But these are not the people who were at that rally on Saturday. These are the people who will get up at a City Council meeting and speak intelligently while disavowing the hate groups.)

Statutes and Monuments: Keep or Remove?

There are three points of view concerning statutes, monuments, and other artifacts from the Civil War (and any other past events for that matter):

(1) These are symbols of Southern Heritage,
(2) They are an insult to those who were oppressed at that time,
(3) They are historical references.

Each of these positions are legitimate, and to minimize or ridicule those who embrace one of those positions does nothing to help solve the problem.

So let’s look at each of these positions and weight the pros and cons.

SYMBOLS OF SOUTHERN HERITAGE

I am a Southerner and my own ancestors fought, and some died, in the Civil War.  So I understand how people can feel when these statues are attacked.  Most who fought in the Civil War did so because they thought they were right, based on their values and beliefs at the time.  In today’s society, of course, the concepts of slavery and white supremacy are abhorrent to us, but we must not judge past figures using today’s standards.  By those standards, almost all historical figures would be fail.

What I cannot understand is why, when we Southerners want to honor our heritage, we choose symbols and figures from the darkest past of our past. Why not focus on the positive events and people?   Founding fathers George Washington, James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, James Monroe were all from Virginia.  The first permanent colony in North America, Jamestown, was in the south. Virginia has had more Presidents than any other state.  The United States itself would never have existed at all without the contributions from the South.

CELEBRATING OPPRESSORS

As a white southerner, I cannot even begin to understand the depth of emotions that slavery must provoke in black people today.  To constantly see symbols tied directly to a war whose purpose was to continue slavery must be painful.  Those who wish to celebrate their southern heritage should be able to find other symbols that do not also tend to celebrate slavery.

On the other hand, none of these monuments was erected with the purpose to celebrate slavery or oppression.  There are symbols all around us that may offend someone for some reason.  Just because something offends us does not give us the right to destroy it.  Granted, these symbols are much more offensive to black people than others may be to us.  But a major part of the divide in our country today is a resistance to the “political correctness” movement that tends to label all those who disagree.  It is our very diversity that makes us strong. Once we start taking down monuments that offend, we are starting down a very slippery slope indeed.

HISTORICAL REFERENCES

This is the most emotionally neutral position, and one that can be supported by both sides.  Our history is filled with both bad and good events and people.  Removing the statues will not change the past. Indeed, the very presence of these statues serves as a reminder of both past accomplishments and atrocities. We tend to judge historical figures using today’s standards, and that is a mistake.  Our founding fathers had both good traits and bad, both by standards of the time and by modern standards.

These statues and monuments are a form of art, and like all art, are subject to one’s own interpretation.  Some may see them as a tribute to our southern heritage.  Others can choose to see them as a stark reminder of the evils in our past.

CONCLUSION

There are valid reasons for both removing and for keeping these statues and monuments.  Whether they should be removed or not is a decision that should not be made using a mob mentality. Each statue’s fate should be determined locally by those most effected, and only after civil debate, and perhaps a vote on the next ballot.

Sylvia McMurrain

The sweetest lady I have ever known has gone to be with the angels. Her suffering is over, and her spirit is soaring in the heavens.

The Lord blessed us with a wonderful mother, whose guiding hands helped mold me into the man I am today, and whose spirit will continue to guide me in raising my own children. I don’t remember her ever raising her voice or speaking to me in anger.

Of course, she did all the things a good mother is supposed to do, but she also did so much more. It is said a parent’s most important job is to teach their kids to make the right decisions, and that is just what she did. She always gave me the freedom to learn while still making sure I was never too far out.

We had a home-cooked meal at the dining table every night as a family. Dinner discussions always involved the whole family, and without distractions from television or telephones.

Our house was the one where the neighborhood kids came to play.

I never missed a Scout meeting. She was never too busy for anything that my brother or I needed.

She cared about everyone. She remembered details about my friends that I had long forgotten. She would see something in a store that would remind her of someone, and would get it for them. She was a great cook; I use her recipes to this day for my favorite meals.

My brother Brett, Mom, and Me

Sitting here thinking back over the years, memory after wonderful memory is as clear to me now as it was so many years ago. Some random memories:

After we started school, she joined a local women’s tennis league, and was a great player. I remember all of the trophies on her dresser.

Her discipline was never unwarranted or excessive, but her expertise with the Wooden Spoon extended beyond cooking! Long after I had grown up, she replaced her refrigerator and found umpteen wooden spoons back there. Wonder how that happened?

A few years ago she gave me a shirt for Christmas that read, “I am my Mom’s favorite son!”. My brother got one as well.

When was about 6 or 7 years old, I found a receptacle plate cover in a kitchen drawer. Knowing I had a cracked one in my room, I proceeded to take a screwdriver and remove the cracked cover plate from the outlet in my bedroom. Just after I took it off, she walked by and I said, “Mommy, look at this.”. She took one look at me with a screwdriver in one hand, and electrical plate in the other, and an exposed outlet on the wall and said, “You put that back together RIGHT NOW!”. I never did let her live that one down!

I turned my sandbox into a mud box on many occasions and got muddier than any kid should be allowed, but it never bothered her in the least. I just hosed off outside and continued playing.

That’s all I can say now. I am having a hard time seeing the screen.

I love you, Mom.